Walk of Shame

Today's the day! Tee! Naomi Campbell reports for dirty duty cleaning out the rat-, garbage- and poopy-infested NYC Public Transit System due to lack of self-restraint. I mean CAN YOU BLAME HER? I'd be pissed if MY lowly maid stole MY Stellas! That bitch is lucky she only walked away a black eye!

Oh... I kid, I kid. I mean, as difficult as it might be for N.C. to figure out that a broom is a cleaning device and not a body type goal, this is still just a token gesture. Like when celebrities go to "fancy jail." Why couldn't she have just paid a super whopping fine and then gone about her bratty way instead of clogging up NYC police resources as cops stand stationed outside the building the whole time she's in it. What a waste. I wonder if this walk of shame was more or less embarrassing than when she ate it on the runway back in 1993. I call bullshit on the whole situation AND the ridiculous spiky boots she wore to the gig.


Speaking of boots...

($125, Nicole, Lulu's Fashion Lounge)
I wuv these Dafne boots by Nicole, especially in red, as seen here (though ANNOYING only in sizes 7 and 9.5)...


($129.56, Nicole, Zappos)
And I really love 'em in white too. Nordstrom has some too, including some boring browns and not the reds.


And to complete this Naomi- and Nicole-related post... here are two ADORABLE Nicole Miller silk print dresses, one in a tres Pucci pattern and the other in a very Deco design:

($300, Nordstrom)


($300, Nordstrom)

SJP Hooks Up With S&B?

I'm actually a huge Sarah Jessica Parker fan. Okay, not huge, but when my hair was blonde(-ish), peeps used to tell me I looked like her. Well, the short Jew thing helped too. (And I also pointlessly associate with her because we're both from Ohio.) But I took it as a compliment, except for when peeps say she has a horse face, which I ASSUREDLY do not, y'all! Anyway, though I actually detest SATC, I did enjoy taking in her various draggy outfits, no matter how abominable.

Anyway, so now it appears that she's teaming up with uh... Steve and Barry's. The folks who brought you sporting arena-sized emporiums stuffed with hoodies and T-shirts that say crap like "Must Be This Tall to Ride" and "Take Me Drunk, I'm Home!" Uh, yeah. That Steve and Barry's.

Did H&M not want her? Her love affair with The Gap lasted about as long as Britney's first marriage. Anyway, I certainly don't disagree with her PR-churned impetus: "Women should be able to wear great clothes and not lie in bed at night feeling guilty about how much money they've spent," Parker said in a statement. But could it get much lower-end than Steve and Barry's? A store that manages to underprice even Wally World? Exactly how much is SJ getting paid to associate with a store that also shares licensing deals with the WWE, Ford and Coors? Will there be bubblegum pink tulle skirts with screenprints of Calvin pissing on the HBO logo or something?? And are the same people who shop there for short shorts with their college's name across the ass interested in looking like this:



Color me skeptical.

MIU MIU AUTUMN/WINTER 2007-8

MIU MIU
With Miu Miu in last place on the schedule, there was no danger of Fashion Month going out without a bang and Miuccia Prada gave us all something to think about and discuss at length at our post-show dinners last night.

First question: will you pull your coral nylon tights over your waistband and tuck your cardigan into them next winter? "I loved it!" said stylist Charlotte Stockdale. "The tights were fabulous and the shoes were rocking. There was a sort of strange Fifties futurism about it as if the models were perfectly beautiful aliens. And I loved the really full skirts. If you're going to wear something that full and attention-grabbing, I think you should really go all the way." Matt nude and peachy pink lipsticks gave the models' faces a blankness that let us imagine they were alien - perhaps that's why they committed such fashion faux pas as no slips inder pink and orange gauzy skirts or blouses and the aforementioned tights - though in fact the band of nylon at the waist gave a clever slash of coral to nude and camel-coloured Fifties skirt-and-cardie combos. Miuccia Prada simply has a knack of making must-have what, for anyone else, would seem geeky at best. The "rocking" shoes (they are always a hit - nine pairs of the current season's double-strapped Mary Janes were spotted in one row alone), had brogue detailing, clusters of crystals up the heel or leather frills facing up the foot - and were all worn with fawn school socks. Cashmere suits in grey and camel had pinched waists, exaggerated hips and stiff, full skirts. No little sister to Prada this, the Miu Miu girl is cutting edge and confidently experimental - a glittering lame tweed for a stunning dark blue coat, leather suits that matched the models' lips and twinsets and full skirts of sheer, translucent, stiff nylon, that showed a ghostly x-ray impression of their limbs inside. The delicate colour palette of vanilla, tan, grey, peach, coral and baby pink gave this collection a Stepford Wives femininity, while Last Of The Summer Wine padded nylon housecoats added old lady kookiness that only a Miu Miu chick can pull off. It brought Fashion Month to an end, but as usual with Miuccia, it felt like this was just the beginning.

Fun Finds Friday

A super speedy hit-list of totes cute shit for Friday.



($22, *NYC Boutique, Karmaloop.com)
This IS cute, right?


(Apprx $29 USD, Office.co.uk)
What. The. Fuck. Life just got a little cuter with solid flats with a zippy zipper screenprint! SO cute! Also in black, yellow and red. BESTS!


($19.50, Forever21)
I peeped this from Jahaute's blog, Too Cute. Love the colors and shape -- would look darling over jeans or just with ballet flats (and unders, of course, you cheeky monkey!)


($29.80, Forever 21)
I'd have to see this in person to make sure it's not too frumpo, but it looks pretty cute and '50s-ish without being too overly '50s retro in that barfy way.


($40, Delight.com)
Sorry, but if Mary-Kate can blog about candle sweaters, then GOD DAMMIT I'm gonna post some fucking PRESH dishware with swinging gnomes!! If these sell out, you can also find some here, but they're not on swings, unforch. Sometime's life rough.


And now, two random things, one fashionable, one not:

Y'all ever heard of Stardolls? I 'member a few years back, during the Dark Ages of the Internet (before Wikipedia even!), there was a site where you could dress up celebrity paper dolls. Like many things (Tato Skins chips, that "Growing Pains" spin-off show "Just The 10 of Us," one-night stands), I enjoyed them at the time but then forgot about them. Until my boyfriend showed me Stardolls. NOW, AT LAST you can "dress" not only the usual celeb suspects like Hilary Duff, Gwen Stefani, Beyonce and Tyra (apparently she's one of the top 10 dolls to dress!), but their collection of more than 400 (and counting) barely-dressed celebrity dolls even includes Oprah Winfrey, Wilmer Valderamma (one at a time, ladies!), Bo Bice (????), Bam Margera, the entirety of Panic! At the Disco (yet you can dress ONLY Pete from Fall Out Boy, and God knows we've seen enough of him undressed on the Innertron!) and Dakota Fanning. Um... WTF? Oh yeah, Conan Obrien and Camilla Parker-Bowles and all the kids from the Harry Potter movies. You can "buy" "outfits" and have all kinds of celebrity friends and show off your different outfits (I'm not gonna lie -- Leo DiCaprio looked totally camera ready in the outfit I dressed him in!) It's basically like Second Life... for cuter people. Anyway, the cheesy but fun site (it is for tweens, after all) totally fills that void in you that you usually fill with Lifetime movies. And when I say "you," I mean "you," and not "me."

Finally, this is a little tidbit I often just share with people after I've really known them awhile, but since I feel like I know you, anonymous reader/ lurker, and since I'm probably an oversharer, I'll let you in on this unique little piece of me. I have a major crush on Jeff Goldblum. Fuck it. I don't even care who knows. So thank GOD I now have an outlet that fulfills my need to a.) love him more and b.) send online greeting cards that are straight out of 1998... with... Goldblum O'Grams!

The site looks like it hasn't been updated since before "Independence Day" was released, and the three of you who might actually click on it will probably flood its server and cause it to crash, but hopefully someone out there will get to brighten someone's day when they open their inbox to find a little Jeff O'Gram awaiting them!

Toodles, poodles!



(Jeff wants to feed you carbs.)

Amy Wineohouse: A Non-Fashion-Related PSA

Oh Amy Winehouse! Girl, no no no! From one boozy Jew to another, PLEASE eat a cheeseburger or something!!! I love your voice, I love that you swear like a trooper, and even though they make you look like a drag queen, I could even learn to love your batwing eyeshadow because it's clearly your way of saying to the world: "Eat me." But I'm NOT loving the track mark chic look!! You look like you've been feeding yourself a steady diet of vodka, coke and air. Someone, please help!

If you haven't yet seen her slur through a shit-faced version of "Beat It," check it out now.

Candle Couture!

This is a brief PSA: These are just the cutest little candle sweaters I have ever seen. A must-have, if you will.



Of course, the cutest one, the stripey number, isn't available. But at $1.95, I'll take subtle cuteness in cream. Only nine left after my order! And also available in mustard, for mustard-lovers....



The ones for tall candles are also two bucks and come in red and cream. I can already see them on my long dining table, looking all pretty.

Gucci autumn/winter 2007-8!

GUCCI'S NEW BLACK
GUCCI's chief executive Robert Polet has silenced his critics by announcing impressive sales figures for the label during 2006. "It's hugely satisfying when you have achieved things others thought could not be done," he told the Financial Times - referring to his appointment in 2004 that many found incongruous with his previous role, as head of Unilever's ice-cream and frozen foods division, with some even nicknaming him "an ice-cream seller". But a 44 per cent rise in profits, which far exceeded analysts' expectations, has been put down, in part, to e-commerce. "I think it's the most exciting new territory and will become the most profitable and fastest-growing store for each brand," he said. Polet also revealed that Gucci Group stablemates Stella McCartney and Alexander McQueen are on track to meet their financial targets for the year. The only label to make a loss was YSL Rive Gauche - though Polet pointed out that the house had at least improved its financial situation compared to the previous year, 2005, and further improvements can be expected considering the rave reviews that creative director Stefano Pilati's latest collection received.