Haunt Couture

You've only got a few days left till the Halloween party, and nothing but a few chain-store gift cards to work with. (Go with me on this.) What to do? A few ideas:

Where's Waldo?











I was Waldo one year, and let me tell you, it made for some entertaining
photos. I got the striped tee from American Eagle a few years ago; it was and is fabulously soft, as it is sold in their "sleepwear" section, and it's still for sale. Throw on a pair of jeans, a be-pompommed hat, some brown boots and nerd glasses, and you're good to go.


Nineties High School Burnout/Kate Moss







Yes, just be yourself circa 1991! Gap Corp. will help! Grab this plaid shirt (or a similar version from any thrift store) and some skinny gray stretch jeans from Old Navy. I just purchased a pair of "Special Edition" ones, which are unfortunately not online, but which I can attest totally rock, putting me in somewhat uneasily in mind of a pair I had back in the proverbial day with an almost identical wash and zippers at the ankle. So. Go to the store. Or find a pair somewhere else. Tease your hair up, spray the shit out of it, pile on the eyeliner. Even I don't still have my old Doc Martens, but I bet you've got a pair of Chuck Taylors in your closet (black high-tops only). Extra points for a Metallica shirt underneath.


Fashion Don't













This one's easy. Just get the dumbest clothes you can possibly find, layer them all on top of each other, get these censored black-bar glasses from Fred Flare (hopefully they have rush shipping!) and boom. Donesy.


Spotted Dick
















Because Halloween is really just an excuse to dress like an asshole, take the whole slutty-whatever thing to a new level. Be a leopard, ridiculously. Head to toe. No tail or ears, just ALL SPOTS. Leaving no patch of skin uncovered. You can do it. I didn't feel like linking to every last goddamn thing, so here are your credits: Top, clutch, belt, headband, socks and shoes from Wet Seal; leggings from Forever 21; jacket and shoes (clogs!) from Victoria's Secret; gloves and apron from Target. (Sorry, better hope those leggings are opaque.)


Solid Gold Dancer





This was Michelle T.'s idea, sadly going unused as she will be visiting her mom in Florida and not in party mode. You can find it fully realized at your local American Apparel. I love that American Apparel, on its front page, boasts of a special Halloween sale, basically admitting that a bunch of its clothes are good only as total jokes. Routine not included.

MY costume will remain secret (not that it's particularly unusual, but it shall be cute). Pictures next week, providing I look cute. Which, again, I shall. (Hint: I'm rubbing an excessive amount of red lipstick on my cheeks.)